“Hiding the bruises and the hurt Paul inflicts on her is harder than getting straight A’s. But Paul’s happiness soon becomes more important to Johanna than her own. More important than her relationship with her parents and friends. More important than her grades, her safety, and her future.”-Things Change by Patrick Jones (Walker & Company, 2004).

The first week in February was National Teen Dating Violence Week and though the month’s last day has dawned, I figured better late than never.  So, what does dating violence look like?  What does it feel like? The novels below do a really great, unflinching job of capturing the hurt, the anger, the frustration, and the intense emotions involved when a person is caught in an abusive relationship.  Sometimes it’s hard to confront the fact that we’re in an unhealthy relationship because the abuser makes us feel like what’s wrong is somehow our fault.  As we saw in the situation between Rihanna and Chris Brown, sometimes the person who seems perfect in every way isn’t showing us the whole truth. Love can be confusing, complex, and uncertain. But here’s something for sure: Everyone deserves a healthy relationship. There is never an excuse for intimidation, harassment, emotional abuse, or physical violence.

Leslie’s Journal: A Novel by Allan Stratton. Leslie endures a harmful relationship with an abusive boyfriend. She finds solace by writing in her journal.

Dreamland by Sarah Dessen. After her sister runs away from home Caitlin begins an abusive relationship with a boy who is mysterious, brilliant, and dangerous.

Breathing Underwater by Alex Flinn. Sent to counseling for hitting his girlfriend, sixteen-year-old Nick begins a journal and examines his controlling behavior and anger, and describes living with his abusive father.

Past Forgiving by Gloria D. Miklowitz. Fifteen-year-old Alexandra finds that her boyfriend Cliff demands all her time, isolates her by his jealousy, and then his behavior worsens.

Things Change by Patrick Jones. Sixteen-year-old Johanna, one of the best students in her class, develops a passionate attachment for troubled seventeen-year-old Paul and finds her plans for the future changing in unexpected ways.

Falling Through Darkness by Carolyn MacCullough. Seventeen-year-old Ginny unexpectedly gets help from her father’s new tenant while struggling to cope with her guilt and confusion over the death of her daredevil boyfriend.

When Something Feels Wrong: A Survival Guide About Abuse For Young People by Deanna S. Pledge. Provides checklists, journaling ideas, and other positive ways of dealing with being physically, sexually, and/or emotionally abused, emphasizing the importance of talking about what has happened and getting help.

Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson. A traumatic event near the end of the summer has a devastating effect on Melinda’s freshman year in high school. A contemporary classic told in journal-entry style.

Inexcusable by Chris Lynch. High school senior and football player Keir sets out to enjoy himself on graduation night, but when he attempts to comfort a friend whose date has left her stranded, things go terribly wrong.

Looking for a book that depicts love between two people as it should be – positive, respectful, equal, and secure? Check out:

What They Found: Love on 145th Street by Walter Dean Myers. The author of Street Love returns to the world of 145th Street to show how love can be found, and thrives, in the most unlikely places.

Feel like you or someone you know might be in an abusive relationship? Jennifer Ann’s Group, a website devoted to educating people about the dangers of dating violence will help.

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